Staff Reports
President Joe Biden’s dog, Commander, has officially lost his privileges and has been given the boot from the White House. It appears that Commander simply can’t resist sinking his teeth into unsuspecting victims, as there have been a whopping 11 recorded biting incidents attributed to him. It’s safe to say that Commander is no longer the top dog in the White House.
In a rather lackluster statement, First Lady Jill Biden’s communications director, Elizabeth Alexander, acknowledged that the president and first lady value the safety of White House staff and those who protect them. It’s great that they care, but actions speak louder than words. So, what’s the plan from here? According to Alexander, Commander has been banished from the White House while they figure out just what to do with him. Maybe they’re considering renaming him “Commander the Canine Criminal.”
CNN was quick to publish an article highlighting Commander’s biting escapades, which apparently go beyond the reported 11 incidents. The biting frenzy appears to have targeted White House employees and executive residence staff. But wait, there’s more! The Daily Mail even shared photos of Commander and Dale Haney, a long-time White House grounds superintendent. It looks like Commander decided to take a bite out of a guy who’s been keeping the White House beautiful for over half a century. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!
In just four months, Commander managed to rack up ten of his biting incidents. One bite even landed a Secret Service member in the hospital. It seems that Commander has a penchant for sinking his teeth into those who keep the president safe. How charming. Renowned dog trainer Tom Davis believes that only an intervention can save this unruly pup. Perhaps Commander needs a little “tough love” training to curb his biting habits. Maybe Biden can borrow some tips from the dog whisperer himself, Cesar Millan.
Joe Biden’s Dog Commander Banned from White House After Series of Biting Incidents https://t.co/jS4IwSthRc pic.twitter.com/4GbFofmuyg
— NBC Nightly Lies (@NBCNightlyLies) October 5, 2023
Let’s not forget that this isn’t the first time a Biden dog has been involved in such mischief. Commander’s predecessor, Major, was also removed from the White House after his own biting incidents. It seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Unfortunately, Biden’s other dog, Champ, has passed away earlier this year at the ripe old age of 13. At least Champ had the decency to spare anyone from his chompers.
This relentless biting spree has forced yet another pet to be expelled from the White House. It’s clear that President Biden needs to address this issue head-on and find a solution that ensures the safety of his staff. Who knows, maybe Commander can go to obedience school with Major and they can learn to control their urges together. One thing’s for sure, the White House should be pet-free until Biden can guarantee that no more innocent bystanders will fall victim to his furry friends’ fangs.
