Trump Wins Last Word in Debate Coin Toss, Biden Braces for Early Speech

Once again, Donald Trump has proven that even Lady Luck is on his side. During CNN’s coin toss to decide the debate setup, Trump snagged the coveted closing argument slot, allowing him to have the last word and deliver what will undoubtedly be a powerful conclusion, while Biden is left trying to keep his audience awake.

The Biden campaign got stuck with choosing a standing position on stage, opting to place President Sleepy Joe on the audience’s right. One can only hope he can manage to stand for the duration and deliver the first closing argument without needing a nap. Meanwhile, Trump, strategically positioned on the left, will wrap things up, ensuring the final moments are imbued with his signature, commanding presence.

The differences in debate preparation couldn’t be more telling. Biden, seemingly ready to rely on his teleprompter fairy godmother, will cram his sessions into the last-minute shuffle at Camp David. It’s a page straight out of a college student’s handbook, and no one should be surprised if it results in a performance to match – disorganized and uninspired.

On the flip side, Trump has been preparing like a true statesman. Eschewing the traditional mock debates, he’s focused on substantive discussions with an all-star lineup of conservative powerhouses. From Senators like J.D. Vance and Marco Rubio to former White House officials such as Stephen Miller and Kellyanne Conway, Trump is getting ready to hit every issue with precision and expertise unmatched by his opponent.

As for the side drama, the moderating duo of Dana Bash and Jake Tapper will try their best to keep things fair, although it’s CNN, so prepare for the typical bias. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the Independent hopeful, is still spinning his wheels trying to reach CNN’s ever-shifting goalposts. Despite hitting the polling threshold in six surveys and gaining signatures for enough electoral votes, the debate gatekeepers have shut him out, ensuring the stage remains clear for the Trump-Biden showdown.

It’s shaping up to be a classic showdown. The world will be watching, and with Trump having the final say, viewers can expect the debate to end with a bang, not a whimper.

Written by Staff Reports

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