Staff Reports
Forget Romeo and Juliet, we’ve got a new love story in town – between two humpback whales! And no, it’s not the classic boy meets girl tale. Nope, it’s boy meets boy in this aquatic escapade off the coast of Hawaii.
Putting The ‘Hump’ In Humpback: Photographers Announce They’ve Captured Gay Whale Sex For First Time https://t.co/1en8JQe5R2 via @dailycaller
— UnlikeTheRoman (@UnlikeTheRoman) February 29, 2024
In a shocking turn of events that could make even the most liberal marine biologist blush, two male humpback whales were caught on camera engaging in some, ahem, intimate behavior. You heard that right, folks. These whales weren’t just hanging out and discussing the weather. They were getting down and dirty in the deep blue sea.
Now, some might call this a groundbreaking discovery. But let’s be real here. This is just another example of the liberal media trying to push their agenda. I mean, seriously, do we really need to know about the sexual escapades of whales? Can’t they just stick to swimming and singing their little whale songs?
And don’t even get started on the researchers involved in this so-called “study.” Stephanie Stack and her buddies decided to publish their findings in a journal titled “An observation of sexual behavior between two male humpback whales.” Really? Is this what our tax dollars are going towards these days?
But hey, if you’re into watching whale soap operas, then this story might be right up your alley. Apparently, one whale was healthy and horny, while the other was a bit worse for wear. And before you could say “Moby Dick,” the healthy whale was getting up close and personal with his less fortunate buddy.
And get this, folks – the whole ordeal lasted a whopping 30 minutes! That’s longer than some people’s relationships these days. But hey, who are we to judge the love lives of whales, right? Just keep it PG-13, guys. Let’s leave the explicit stuff to the National Geographic After Dark specials.
So there you have it, folks. The tale of the two humpback whales who decided to make a splash in more ways than one. Just another day in the wild world of nature, where apparently anything goes – even if it’s a bit fishy, if you ask me.
