Staff Reports
Oh boy, here we go again! It seems like President Joe Biden’s dog, Commander, just can’t keep his teeth to himself. That’s right, folks, according to the latest report, Commander had a little snack on a U.S. Secret Service Agent on Monday evening. Can you believe it? This is now the 11th incident where Commander has decided to feast on the unsuspecting agents who are supposed to keep the president safe. Talk about loyalty!
The Secret Service confirmed this juicy tidbit to CNN. Apparently, around 8 p.m., one of their officers had an up-close and personal encounter with Commander’s chompers. But don’t worry, folks, the officer is doing just fine after receiving medical treatment. Phew, that’s a relief! But seriously, shouldn’t protecting the president from dog bites be on the top of their to-do list?
Now, you might remember that this isn’t the first time Commander has shown his appetite for human flesh. In November 2022, a Secret Service agent ended up in the hospital after being chewed on by Commander. Yikes! You would think after that incident, they would have put this dog on a leash and tossed the key. But no, they decided to give Commander another chance, because why not?
Let’s not forget about Commander’s predecessor, Major. This doggo also had a taste for human flesh and had to be sent packing from the White House. The Bidens thought it would be a brilliant idea to replace Major with Commander, but it seems like they just traded one set of relentless jaws for another. Don’t they know that dogs are supposed to be man’s best friend, not man’s worst nightmare?
Now, I know the White House promised some “new training and leashing protocols” after Major’s escapades, but clearly, they either forgot or those protocols are as useless as a broken pencil. It’s about time they take this dog to obedience school or maybe even consider a doggy boot camp. I mean, how hard can it be to keep your pup from tearing into Secret Service agents?
Biden's Dog Bit Someone…for the Eleventh Time https://t.co/5kJXBe8EMY
— Katie Pavlich (@KatiePavlich) September 26, 2023
But wait, there’s more! Thanks to Judicial Watch, we know that there have been ten previous incidents where Commander has shown his teethy aggression. Can you believe that? It’s almost like they were expecting this to happen! There was even an email where they expressed concerns about another attack. Well, guess what? Their fears came true!
Folks, it’s about time we address the real issue here. It’s not just about a misbehaving dog, it’s about the safety of our president. We need a dog that knows how to play nicely with others, not one that sees Secret Service agents as appetizers. President Biden should seriously reconsider his choice of four-legged companions because this biting spree has gone on for way too long.
So, until Commander learns to curb his hunger for human flesh, I think it’s best to keep him away from the Secret Service agents. After all, we don’t want them to lose any more limbs on the job. It’s time for President Biden to take charge and put an end to this doggy drama once and for all. The safety of our agents and the reputation of the White House depend on it!
