Big Pharma’s Deadly Grip Unveiled in Shock Doc!

Are you tired of feeling like you’re just a walking prescription pad for Big Medicine? Well, you’re not alone, my fellow right-wing warriors! The folks at The Daily Caller have uncovered the real stench behind the curtain of the American medical industry in their latest flick, “SICK: Unmasking Big Medicine.” Spoiler alert: it’s a lot worse than that time you accidentally took cough medicine instead of your multivitamin!

In this eye-opening documentary, Kim Witczak spills the beans on the dark side of Big Pharma. Her hubby, Woody, tragically ended his own life while on Zoloft, a drug that was supposed to make him feel like Mary Poppins on a sugar high. Turns out, antidepressants like Zoloft can have some serious side effects… like, oh, I don’t know, DEATH. But hey, who needs a warning label when you’ve got a friendly doc and a Pez dispenser full of pills, right?

And get this, patriots: it’s not just the meds that’ll make you raise an eyebrow higher than a giraffe at a limbo contest. Even those support groups that are supposed to be there to catch you when you fall? Yeah, turns out they’re rolling in Big Medicine dough too! It’s like trying to find an honest politician in D.C. – good luck with that!

But wait, there’s more! According to Open Payments, Big Medicine doled out a cool $12.58 billion in 2022 alone. That’s enough cash to make Scrooge McDuck dive into a pool of dollar bills and never come up for air! And don’t even get me started on those so-called patient advocacy groups that are basically just Big Pharma’s puppets on a string. Like, how can you advocate for patients when you’re too busy counting your fat stacks of pharmaceutical cash?

And here’s the kicker, folks: the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, yeah, the ones who are supposed to stop people from taking that one-way trip to the great beyond? Turns out they’ve been cozying up to Big Pharma like a bear in a honey pot. With Pfizer slipping them some green for decades, it’s no wonder their suicide prevention rates are looking as shaky as a politician’s promise during election season!

Written by Staff Reports

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