DEA Captures Over 2.6 Million Fentanyl Pills in Colorado

Folks, it’s no secret that the Rocky Mountain Field Division of the DEA has been busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger, dealing with the influx of those deadly little pills known as fentanyl. In fact, according to Dave Olesky, acting special agent in charge of the Rocky Mountain Field Division, these agents have captured over a whopping 2.6 million of those dangerous suckers in Colorado. And guess what? They expect to break that record in 2024. Hot dog!

Olesky revealed that the amount of fentanyl flooding the Denver area these days used to be more at home in places like Phoenix or Los Angeles. Unbelievable! He even mentioned that catching 100,000-quantity seizures is just about as common as a cold in Denver now. What in tarnation is going on?

But hold onto your hats, because the spreading of this fentanyl craziness isn’t just Colorado’s problem. Oh no, it’s seeping into Montana, Utah, and Wyoming, too! Olesky pointed out a surge of cartel activity in these states, as well as gangsters from Detroit and the East Coast swooping in like vultures to snatch up that high-priced territory. Yikes!

Meanwhile, down in Denver, Democratic Mayor Mike Johnston and the city council are cookin’ up a scheme to chop $41 million from the police and fire department budgets. What in Sam Hill? This ain’t the time to be penny pinchin’, folks. We need those law enforcement folks to keep us safe from all this fentanyl foolishness!

The DEA reports that a whopping 70% of them fentanyl pills on the streets are just packed to the gills with a deadly dose. That’s enough to make your hair stand on end!

But what’s causing this surge? Teller County Sheriff Jason Mikesell reckons it’s all thanks to President Biden’s border crisis, saying, “They are coming here as a place that’s supposedly going to house them.” And who could blame him for thinking that? It’s simple math, folks!

However, Olesky ain’t singing the same tune as Sheriff Mikesell, sayin’ there’s more to it than just the border. He reckons we need to do some outreach and education to tackle this mess. Do y’all reckon outreach and education are gonna make those fentanyl dealers pack up and go home? Horsefeathers! We need action, folks, not just talk.

So there you have it, folks. The fentanyl frenzy is sweeping across the Rockies, and it looks like it’s here to stay unless we roll up our sleeves and do something about it!

Written by Staff Reports

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